She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
