I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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