He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My dick has a subreddit
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
