I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
