Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
