what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
