is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
