It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
