We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
