I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
