you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
