i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
