So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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