i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
After last night, I could never be a politician.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
