if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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