Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
