What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
