Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
