Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize