A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
