My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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