I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize