Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we're so committed to being not committed
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
