I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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