Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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