Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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