His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
