glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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