**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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