Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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