I wish my penis had an off switch
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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