We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
