All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
