Barsexuality is the new black.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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