it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
