in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
