Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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