She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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