Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You ruined the universe
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize