I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
