Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize