My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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