Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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