I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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