Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
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