Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
