she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
