so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
