why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
