so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
