Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I will pee on everything he values.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
