I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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