So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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