Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
