Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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