you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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