if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
