just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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