so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
