Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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