i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
