8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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