you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
