i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
