I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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