So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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