Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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