If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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