That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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