Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
