That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
