we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
did i walk over a car last night?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
