you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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