I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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