The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Send help, water and tortillas.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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