I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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