Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
