I cannot find my penis.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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